Monday, October 25, 2010

A Barnes and Noble Fundraiser for Connor's Preschool

Dear Friends and Family,

Connor's preschool fundraiser with Barnes and Noble is being held on Friday, October 29, 2010 at the Barnes and Noble store in our area and online at Barnes and Noble offers books, music, DVDs, educational toys and games, gift products and so much more.

For every eligible item that is purchased online at Barnes and Noble on behalf of Connor's school, Barnes and Noble contributes up to 12% of the purchase price to Connor's Preschool.  More details are available  on the website.

Please consider visiting the Barnes and Noble website and making a purchase on Connor's behalf. Click the link below to start shopping and please make sure you entire the school's bookfair ID (10311256) on the payment page to ensure we receive credit.

Thank you so much for all of your help!

Carrie & Connor

BOOK FAIR ID: 10311256

Note: The Bookfair ID is good until November 3, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Late on the news, I have been hearing a lot about bullying. There have been many teenagers that, unfortunately, taken their own life, due to  bullying. One of the more popular cases was the college student, whose sexual encounter with the same sex, ended up being video recorded and shared with others. He jumped off the George Washington bridge to end the pain. I don't blame him. I too, like most children, was severely bullied. Some of my earliest memories of school, are those days I was bullied. Back then, it wasn't as drastic as it is today. Back then, there wans't things like the internet (OH GOD IM OLD), or youtube/facebook/social networks. Like most children growing up, I was never comfortable in my own skin.

 There was group of girls at my elementary school, who I swore, their life goal was to make my life miserable. I was never good enough to hang out with them, and I tried my hardest to be part of their group. Looking back at it, I don't understand why, but back then, they were the beginning and the end. I just wanted to be a part of ANY group. These girls made it a point in their day to make me miserable and make sure that they made me feel like crap. My mom had some rules about modesty (which I thank her for now!). These girls would wear short skirts and tiny shirts, and, me wanting to be like them, I thought if I dressed that way, I would automatically be liked by them. Well, my mother put a stop to that. She wouldn't buy me the short dresses and the tiny shirts. I thought my mother hated me! I wore the knee length  dresses, and the modest tops and felt like a complete LOSER.  If these girls EVER found out that I liked a boy, they would get that boy to pretend that he liked me and then in the middle of the playground, he would tell me off.  I remember a specific boy who I had the hugest crush on. He "dated" (as much as elementary kids can date) one of the popular girls and she found out that I liked him. She pretended that they had "broken up". She played me like a fiddle. She had me go up to him and tell him I like him. Well, he sat there, and looked me in the eye and told me how ugly I was. Wow......I was crushed. I hated elementary school. I can remember just feeling so low and so down about myself. Now suicide never crossed my mind (at least that I can remember), but I know how much I dreaded going to school. 

In middle school, I was bullied for liking the band Hanson. No joke, I was actually beat up because I liked the band. I also tried out for cheerleading at Wilson, and some girl always use to call me "wanna-be-cheerleader". I never understood that, because at least I had the balls to go out and try. She was just a loser who sat there. I met a great group a friends in middle school who really helped me become who I am today. Thank goodness middle school was only two years, because I don't think I would have been able to take much more of it. Middle school is the time in life where boys and girls hit puberty. I remember this boy who I was kind of crushing over, came up to me and told me to look down. I was puzzled, so I looked down. He asked me what I saw, and I said my feet. He looked up at me and said "EXACTLY!". I was confused and then told me that I was the President of the "itty bitty titty committee" (A title that I am very proud of today!) I was always so upset that my boobs were big enough, my hair wasn't blonde enough, my eyes weren't blue enough and I wasn't perfect. I had a mousey brown hair, freckles and I was short and scrawny. I remember asking my mom if I could have my freckles lasered off, because I didn't want them anymore. She told me that by the time I was 16, they would go away (MOM, Im 25 and they are still there..... IM WAITING). I could have done everything that I thought would make me perfect, and for some reason, I think I would have still been an outcast. 

In high school, I tried SO hard to be someone who I wasn't. I would change my "style" everyday, to try to fit in with what the popular people were wearing and what they were doing. I don't know why I tried so hard, but I did. I just wanted to fit in, like EVERY OTHER kid in school. Finally, at the second semester of my senior year, I gave up. I remember the specific moment, where I sat at lunch, looking at every person in the school and thinking, who am I ever really going to see again? The people who I wanted to keep on contact with, I have, and every other person, I have never seen again (THANK GOODNESS). I am so thankful that I found that point in my life, when I could just give up. Not give up in a bad way, but give up in a good way. I was just so happy being ME. Yes, I am loud, obnoxious, funny, cute, LOUD, vivacious, stubborn and every other thing you can think of, but that is ME. 

We need to teach our children to be proud of who they are. They might not be the fastest athlete, or the smartest nerd, or the cutest on the playground, but there is something special about each and every one of them. I can only hope that I give my boys the confidence to be proud of who they are. Connor might be energetic and outgoing, but he is one of the sweetest kids I know. He is always ready to give someone a hug when they need it. Logan, well Logan is growing into a great person as we speak. He is here for a specific purpose, and I can't wait to see him grow up and be a good man. Lets stop these suicides of young children and young adults and give them confidence to scream at the top of the lungs. "I AM CARRIE. I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM!". To others, I might not always be right, or be perfect, but to me, I am perfect. I want each and every one of you to look in the mirror every morning and every night and say "I AM ME." We can't change who we are, we can only embrace it. It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, bicurious, Blonde, Burnette, Redhead, blue eyed, brown eyed, short, tall, fat, skinny or all of the above. You are YOU and LOVE yourself. Lets teach this to our children.

 Lets also teach our children that everyone is different. If everyone was made the same, life would be pretty boring. I don't want to be like the next person. I kind of like who I am. 

Monday, October 4, 2010

Ok Ok....I know I know!!

Yes, I do know that it has been quite some time since I have posted. Life has been....well...LIFE. Obviously, a lot has happened in the last month or so. Connor started preschool (sniff sniff). He started at Our Children's Place in Burbank. The school is a co-op, which means, in exchange for lower tuition, I volunteer my time. Connor goes two days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I voluteer two days a month. Not a bad deal. I can take Logan with me too, which is always a bonus. Connor absolutely LOVES it at "his school" and wishes he could go more often. I'm sorry...the school is not really a preschool, but a playschool. The kids are able to go and be kids for just a few short hours everyday. They can play on the playground equipment, they can do art projects, or they can just sit and talk to the sky if they want to. Its great for the kids.

Carlos has been doing FANTASTIC on his diet. He started on the first of August weighing 287. As of this morning, October 4, he not weights 238. Yes...that is correct. 238. He dedicated himself to losing the weight, and he did it. He lost 50 lbs. He looks FANTASTIC. He went from a size 42 to a size 38. Instead of paying for a gym membership, he talked to the principal at his school and asked if he could use the weight room there. The principal said as long as it didn't conflict with the afternoon sports, he could use it. After school everyday, he hits the weight room for 30 minutes to do some weight lifting. This guy has arms bigger than my head. When we went to buy him new shirts, he wanted to try on a large, instead of a 2XL, but was discouraged that the large didn't fit. We finally realized that it wasn't the waist of the shirt that was too small, it was the shoulders and the arms. Lets just say he was very relived. Carlos has a very particular style that he likes, and to try to find shirts that fit him in this style, we have started sewing him shirts.

RVCA Men's Country Plaid Woven Shirt
We have only partically got through one shirt, mostly because of the lack of equipment (and space!). We have had to borrow sewing machines to try to sew the shirt, but that is getting a little ackward! If you ever wanted to get Carlos a shirt like this, you can always find it on his wish list .  Or if you are feeling generous, here is my list . These are great lists, because if I want to get Carlos a gift, I know exactly what he wants.

I have been busy, trying to keep all of the balls in the air. I am on the board of Connor's preschool and I volunteer at Connor's preschool. Logan is walking now, so he is handfull. He likes to get into everything he shouldn't be getting into, which is typical of any baby at this age! He has such a cute personality. He is such a charmer, until he doesn't get what he wants, and then he lets you know (I wonder where he got that from?). He is starting to say certain words that I can recognize. He says Mama and baba mostly. This kid, unlike Connor, is such an eater. With Connor, we have to sit down and sit with him and basically force him to eat. Dinner usually takes us about 2 hours, just with sitting with Connor and making him eat, and usually ends in Connor going to bed early because he won't eat. Logan has never met a food he doesn't like. He will usually eat anything and everything (THANK GOODNESS!).

As we speak, I am trying to upload pictures, which for some reason, are taking FOREVER. I have so many cute pictures to share, and they are taking like two hours to upload. Great, Im paying for the faster speed on my internet, and my computer just won't deal with it...LOVELY. Well I guess I will post pictures later on. Humph...... Just when I get back into blogging.......